Archive for December, 2005

Huwag na lang sana

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

Huwag mo na lang akong damayan

Kung naaawa ka lang sa akin

Huwag mo na lang akong lapitan

Kung gusto mo naman akong layuan

Huwag mo na lang akong hawakan

Kung di mo naman sasamyuin ang pagmamahal,

Huwag mo na lang akong samahan sa paglaban,

Kung di kita makakapiling sa tagumpay

Huwag mo na lang akong yakapin

Kung dir in lang mahigpit at taos-puso

Baka lalo lang akong mahulog sa bitag ng iyong pagsuyo

Huwag mo na lang akong kausapin

Kung dir in lang makabuluhan ang iyong sasabihin

Ang nais ko’y katotohanan na lamang sa mundo.

Huwag mo na lang akong awitan

Kung dir in lang sa akin ang iyong pagsinta

Huwag mo na lang akong iduyan

Kung sa huli nama’y ako’y iyong iiwan.

Huwag mo na lang akong hawakan

Kung dir in lang madarama ang iyong saloobin

Wag na lang, sa akin ika’y makipagniig

Kungdi rin lang kasama ang iyong kaluluwa

Huwag na lang tayo’y maghalikan

Kung di rin lang iinit ang pag-ibig mo

Huwag mo na lang akong pangakuan

Kung di rin lang iinit ang pag-ibig mo

Huwag na lang kung guguhit ka ng mga

Hinuhang pang-aliw sa malungkot kong mukha

Wag ka na lang magtayo ng pag-asa

Kung sa buhangin mo ito ihuhulma

Tuyo na ang akung mata ngunit

Nais ko pang tumangis

Piga na ang luha sa aking mga mata

Natigang na ang tubig sa may tulay

Malapit na ring maubos ang aking pasensiya

Kaya pakiusap, huwag na lang

sana

.

billet doux*

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

My Sweet Angel,

I quest for you in the midst of nowhere. And without much work I found you right beside me telling me that you’re ready to be a friend. There was smile and all was history.

         Your advent made me realize that I am not alone. That as a normal human being, I could again fall in love, this is the only moment that I realized how wonderful I am as a creation of Someone up there.

         I may not be that knowledgeable about everything that you know. Your thoughts, aspirations and goals I may never understand. But the more I don’t comprehend these things, the greater urge in me to discover you more.

I may not that vocal about how I feel, for I know that it is clearly implied you knew it. Others call me insane and stupid knowing how I feel for you. In defense, I would say that there is much insanity and stupidity if I deny how much I desire of you.

Your eyes would tell me how good your soul is. Yours lips would give me a smile that would make me blissful for the next 24 strikes of the clock. How I wish those were of my possession.

Each day my craving for your attention increases, my demand goes up, my satisfaction isn’t fulfilled.

Tonight, I’m looking at the endless sky. The darkness of the night gave me a wonderful thought of you that busied my senses. Suddenly, the drops of the evening dew showered upon my face, never expecting for you to come and fill up my senses.

It was too late that I realized how deep I slept that night.

My heart and mind just can’t accept why there’s no possibility of you becoming mine; that you belong to another world, to another someone whose face I’d rather not see.

I know of love as a thing to be reciprocated it was only in my case that it could never go that way.

With great affection,

Louis

Louis,

Everything seems to be in order tonight. The cool clouds are enveloping the sky, preventing me from seeing those stars; the stars that the two of us have together chained as our constellation of love.

There is serenity in that October affair, when the sun is at its softest ray and the breeze is blowing with star dust reminding people of the approaching yuletide.

We were unmindful of the unfriendly weather; we ignored the howling of the dogs and the crisp laughter of the jackals. All we know is that Cupid has conquered both of our worlds and fused it into one serene paradise.

We barely know each other and we don’t recognize the art of love yet, we blindly accepted each other. Like poor begging for alms, we opened up and embraced the miracle we are in.

Day by day your letters were regular visitors knocking at my doorsteps. Now I could spell ugly as beauty and boredom, glee. You turned my world from a crazy maniac to one tamed beast. I couldn’t ask for more.

From that day that I found that the God of Love is with me in my heart, I started to appreciate the blue sky and the red cardinal, the golden wheat and the tired peasant. It was but a world full of color.

But then it was only the beginning. Until I awake from the deep slumber that was fantasy, the sweet dream was nothing but grim nightmare. And with a hundred decibels I cry, awakening the monster of the underworld; the same beast that claimed the Adonis of my life.

Alas! It is still time for sorrow. For our worlds are separated by the great distance of heaven and earth; of jealousy and hatred. And I can only cry as what is used to be until I am eaten by Misery. My love isn’t love, until I set you free.

Marielle

________________

*love letter

KUNG BABASTEDIN MO AKO*

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005

(Para sa isang Kaopisinang nabasted at sa kaopisinang bumasted sa kanya)

Kung babastedin mo ako

Wag mo naman sanang sabihin nang diretso

Hinay hinay naman at masakit na ito

Pagkat puso’y sawa nang mabigo,

Kung babastedin mo ako

Pwede bang daanin mo sa isang tula?

Maganda yung may sukat at tugma

Para maranasan ko man lang ang maalayan ng mga talata.

Kung babastedin mo ako

Sana’y “Can we still be friends” ang theme song mo

Nais ko man lang madinig kang umawit

Kahit pag-ibig ko sa iyo’y di ko na maipilit.

Kung babastedin mo ako

Wag mo na akong miskolan o iti-txt man lang

Ayoko nang tumunog ang cellphone ko

Kung hindi naman love quotes ang ipo-forward mo.

Kung paiiyakin mo ako

Bigyan mo sana ako ng tissue

Maramdaman ko man lang na kahit papaano

Na ako’y pinagmalasakitan mo.

Kung isosoli mo ang mga regalo ko

Yakapin mo naman yung teddy bear na bigay ko

Kahit wag na yung mga bulaklak

Pati tsokolateng hindi mo gusto.

Pag tapos na akong lumuha

At tigang na ang mata

Huwag kang maawa dahil lalo akong kawawa

Wag mo akong sisihin kung sa susunod na bukas

Kung di na kita yayain kumain sa labas

Binasted mo na ako, katapusan na nitong mundo

Maghahanap na lang ako ng ibang wawasak sa puso ko.

*unpublished up to this date (may dispute pa kse sa printing ng Andamyo 2005)