post natal day
I JUST turned 24 yesterday still cana’t imagine being 24 with two kids and a wife. actually it’s alright with me that i have them already at this young an age.
my parent had me when my father was only 20 and my mother 18. i dont feel a single regret now. honestly that feeling was there all the times. but sure times has its reasons and ways on starting things out.
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these wounds won’t seem to heal
this pain is just too real.
m listening on my mp3 and i really am hooked on to it. what am i going to do without those teeny music? at this moment i can’t realize why i have become a former college editor in chief of a university here in south luzon whereas right now i cant seem to think of what to write or say unto this blog.
its like blag for me. i fell from up above and am now struggling to write words. my mastery of the language(?) seem to be dropping from 100 degrees centigrade to a low of a .5 on the same scale.
its cold and winterly.
thats what i feel right now. naulan kse. im talking right now with a former boy that i had when i was only in college. he was a three-year steady. he;s from davao and im from lucena. i really cant imagine how i did get to be steady with him. that was a three-year itch that i felt absolutely no sexual intercourse just intellectual masturbation. im one itchy bitch how the hell did i get to allow that? di ko nga din alam.
all i know is when i got the chance to go down to the big davao city my first agenda was to get laid with the boy and and conquer his world for one night even i was a failure in conquering his mind on that three years. so even with a bf and a gf that time i did get the guts to ask him for something i dont even now to manage.
the bottom line is, i guess, that i violated the guy and all those that busied my senses. i just thought that overnight encounter would change how i feel for him or for the meanigful (?) relationship that we had.
i guess im incomplete without him. and even if we are miles apart i guess hes still down here in the middle of my lungs. this one big stupid confession. and i guess this is on a need to know basis. i have to kill you now,
ask for more.
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ysrael,
happy birthday,
el
